Interestingly, it is funny how this transition can be one of the most difficult things to get done when you finally realize and admit to yourself that what you are feeling is more than just what you initially felt for that friend. All of a sudden, you are not satisfied with a lot of things that ordinarily you were, you begin to want more, crave more and yet you just do not want to scare the person off with your new feelings, so you are in a twisted spot, doing all the maths and wondering how you can finally communicate this without act differently. Somehow, akin to a time bomb you seem to be waiting for the perfect time to explode(of course in this case) to air your emotions.
Most of us have been there, maybe even more than once and the funny part is it feels new every time. So, having given this a close thought, here’s how we think you can transit from the friendship zone to the actual relationship you really want.
- Be certain: You have been friends for too long sometimes and you may have even been seen more as a brother than just a friend. Which is usually supposed to be a good thing, until of course your emotions now speak differently. Be very certain and totally unmistakable about what you now feel and understand that if there’s a chance you aren’t it may cost you your friendship forever. Make sure that it is really what you want.
- Know You Deserve It: You deserve happiness, and Love, and even more you deserve the person that makes you feel those and very exceptional effortlessly. Once you understand and conclude without a doubt that you deserve those, then you can decide what to do and how to go about it.
- Step Up Your Act/Effort: The fact that you have been friends with this person in view undeniably gives you an edge that you could creatively maximize to your advantage. Try solemn expressions depending on who is involved, bottom line let all you do speak softly how much you care about the person without actually overdoing them.
- Stop Seeing Other People: There are many reasons for seeing other people: keeping your options open, protecting yourself from getting in too deep, etc. But if you’re going to be in a committed relationship with a friend, it is best you cut out a habit that might right you off before you even get a chance to air your feelings to him or her. Let them see you are making an effort to be serious.
- Expect Anything: Sharing this new feeling with him or her may not be something you can predict the outcome. It is best to expect anything, both an affirmation and a rejection no matter how hard it may be or how disappointing or how close you have been and how well you think you know the person in question. It is totally a gray area.
- Quit the buddy Behavior: It is not easy to change in a snap of the finger from those little gossips, friendship hangouts, and cusses etc. but you need to try being more intentional yet not coming off too strongly. This will involve reading the signs attentively and not missing signals or throwing unnecessary tantrums if they turn out negative.
- Come Clean: One way or another, no matter how long and careful you want to be, you will have to say it, tell him or her how you truly feel but here is a bit of how to go about it. This kind of conversation should be strategic and well-timed as it may be intense. Give a heads-up jovially for a date and give him or her a reason to look forward to the said date. Try making the date scene a bit purposeful but relaxing and special.
Then after all you both regular pleasantries and jokes tell him or her just how you feel. This could be done through several medium (verbally, media, a writing etc.) while on that physical date to get the total expression of the person yet allowing them enough room to be themselves.
- Don’t make ridiculous promises: Tell them how you feel, what you want from them without making ridiculous promises and assurances or bragging about what you intend and can offer. This may be a turn off or get their hopes high, and affect their decision to be or not be with you.